Infertility. The Irony of Becoming Parents when you are finally ready.

by | Feb 24, 2021 | Infertility | 230 comments

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We, as responsible adults spend many years in our lives trying to avoid pregnancy or getting someone pregnant at all cost because ‘it is not the right time and/ or person’. Contraceptive pills, implants, condoms, vasectomies. The options are endless and only those who are careless, are foolish enough to bring an unwanted life into the world, or not. I call this, the irony of becoming parents.

Based on an article published by the United Nations in January 2020, the global fertility rate fell from 3.2 to 2.5 live birth per women between 1990 and 2019. This piece of news is not too catastrophic, right? Besides we are overpopulating the world anyway! So, in a way this could be considered good news for some people.

This recent published article states that doctors are starting to see infertility as an epidemic and the use of infertility treatments are becoming more popular as the alternative way of conceiving in couples.

Numbers matter and the perspective completely changes once you are of a certain age where you feel you are running out of time, you have met the right person, you are in the perfect financial situation to bring life into the world responsibly but nature is not working as it should. The realisation of being amongst the 48.5 million couples is daunting and it feels like a kick in the teeth. Facing infertility is a hard test for couples, no matter how long you have been together.

When dealing with infertility, you are facing the unknown, the uncertainty whether you may become parents. You are finding it impossible to do something that is so natural and spontaneous for the majority of people. You buy very expensive treatments and pay for very expensive drugs but you never know whether they will help you become pregnant or bring a baby into the world, as these two  are very different things once you start the infertility journey. It is like gambling, you put your money in, you feel excited and fearful at the same time because of the uncertainty in the process and the end result is unknown.

There is not guarantee and there is no one to blame, there is no one you can hold accountable for if the treatment fails. This is where mental strength and mindset play a major role to support your journey. I found that resilience, information and being open minded are the key factors to help couples deal with the fact they may never have kids of their own.

When this moment hits you, it hits you hard. Being receptive to all the options available and recognising that there is not only one way of becoming parents, will help you lift the burden of the guilt you start feeling for the postponing becoming parents when ‘the time is right’.

“Even miracles take a little bit of time.” – Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother


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