Are you asking yourself, ‘is this all there is in life?’ Do you spend a considerate amount of time being jealous of others? ‘The grass is greener over there, kind of thing.’ Are you still waiting? …I will be happy when…I move out, I finish my degree, I marry, etc?
According to presenter and author Mel Robbins these are huge red flags to start focusing on making changes in your life. It is hard to accept that we are not happy, we are not fulfilled. Many people ignore those feelings as dealing with them bring more pain than just staying as we are. We see that the changes needed in our life need ‘too much effort’ so we resort to just conformed to say ‘Ah, it is not that bad’.
When we see the need of change, we start automatically focusing on the challenges and obstacles that achieving those changes mean. How would I support my family? How do I make a living out of a job that fulfils me 100%? Surely, that is just a dream. Now, just stop and think…what if you stop and focus on the outcomes that those changes will bring to your life and of the people around you? Do you think that the change will be worth it? Would you prefer the pain of just going by and ‘being ok’ or do you want the pleasure of reaching to achieve your goals and live the life of your dreams?
To get clarity, you must ask yourself three questions. The first question is ‘What results do I want?’ When answering this question be very specific, honest and clear. For example, I want to lead a healthy lifestyle, maintain a weight that allows me to feel great with myself and play with my children without feeling out of breath.
The second question, ‘Why do I want that?’ – I want that because I want ultimate health. I want to live longer and see my children grow. I want to feel good when I put any kind of clothes on and I want to be able to enjoy having a strong and healthy body.
The third question is ‘How do I achieve this?’ – in order to achieve your goals you must make sure you are determined and you become diligent to achieve it. You must start NOW and not wait until next Monday while you binge eat until Monday arrives and perhaps then, you don’t feel like it.
It is simple to say all this but how do you know this will lead to lasting changes? Well, we tend to associate words with emotions and those emotions are the ultimate driving force to our actions. So instead of associating being on a diet as being deprived of the food you love, start thinking how achieving a strong and healthy body you love will make you feel. What will that change bring to your life? Change the meaning you associate to words – start associating your actions to what you really want in life.
The final step to make sure that change is worth and lasting is this; ‘the growing old’ test. Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi mention this regularly. Imagine yourself at 80, 90 years old and you have not made any of the changes you needed/wanted to achieve the life of your dreams. How do you feel about it? Perhaps, you will not reach 80 or 90 years old if those changes do not happen.
Now, imagine the opposite. You are 80 or 90 years old and you are looking back at your life. You took action to be in the driver seat of your life and you achieved your goals with flying colours. How do you feel now? Happy, courageous? Are you and your love ones proud of your achievements? Associate your actions for change in your life to the fulfilment you will get when you accomplish them. By doing this, you will see and feel that everything is worth it! Happiness is within us, it is not in others.